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ICHIRO SUZUKI

aka

ICHIRO

aka

IIICCCCHHHHIIIIIRROOOOOO, as known in some miniscule speech therapy needing parts of the Yankee's ballpark.



'Chiro Sez:

I wasn't in the mood for a fly ball. I thought 'Don't come here! Don't hit it here!', and sure enough, because my willpower wasn't strong enough, he hit it to me. I then sent mental signals to the ball saying 'don't come near me; land somewhere else' but the mental signals didn't work and it landed right in front of me.

-Fly ball drop excuse.

Lolwut?


The Yankees decided that a World Series wasn't enough; they needed to steal and beat the cra[bs] out of the other teams. So they went out and traded for Ichiro.

Police suspect foul play; they found chlorofoam in an alley only 200 miles away from the Mariner's General Manager.

But, in a sign of respect, Ichiro bowed to the cheering Mariner fans during his first game with the Yankees. Some say the last time a Yankee has bowed so deeply to Mariners fans, was when A-Roid took a purpose pitch to the cup.

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